Growing up and throughout college I had this glamorous [and apparently far-fetched] notion that I’d have a super busy, fun and great job. I didn’t know exactly what my job would entail but I envisioned being someone’s personal assistant and always on.the.go.
Here I am 18 months post-undergrad and am more upset and unhappy with the working world than I ever anticipated. I’m 23 years
old young, I should love what I’m doing right? … wrong.
Many of my friends grew up KNOWING they’d be teachers, nurses, etc. I never had that ‘calling’ that I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I started college off as a Biochemistry major because I wanted to go to PA school & UW-Madison doesn’t have a pre-med program. Little did I know it was virtually impossible to get accepted into the program because of the steep competition with foreign students.
Throughout college I changed majors 3 or 4 times (never declared, just changed courses for according majors each semester) until finally settling on Legal Studies. Ironically, the one thing I knew if that I did NOT want to do once I graduated was to go to law school. So WTF was I doing majoring in Legal Studies? I still ask myself that. But I had to graduate in 4 years because of the Army scholarship I had.
Because of the Army I’m very fortunate to have the job I do have now since my degree is very broad and relatively useless. I currently am in charge of officer actions for my battalion. Some days are
busy tolerable with enough to make time pass, but most are real slow for me since there are other people working in my section too. I know I shouldn’t complain because I am lucky to have a job, especially now days (despite a week of being furloughed). But if I am so unhappy and dread going to work most days, is it worth it?
While the job entails a lot of paperwork and monotony, I have learned one thing here: that I do NOT want a desk job. I want to do more than answer seldom calls & process paperwork. I want to work WITH people not just FOR people. I
want NEED to interact with people and not sit all.damn.day. So at this point I suppose it’s a process of elimination. I think ultimately I would like to go back for nursing school, but unfortunately that is not possible right now. Not only are my finances not lined up, but in a year or so I will most likely be moving to an entirely new area when Tyler has his first PCS with the Army.
I went to my parents house over the weekend since I was furloughed until today and had a complete breakdown. I cried and complained for about an hour because I did not want to leave. My job isn’t roses & butterflies, no friends are left where I live, and Tyler is swamped with school work, ROTC & his internship. But unfortunately, living at my parents house jobless won’t pay the bills that I do have. So I put my big girl pants on and drove back to my apartment to return to work.
In the meantime I will keep my job and ‘keep on keeping on’ but I also plan on taking the EMT Basic course at the nearby tech college (nearby as in across the street from work-how convenient!) this spring. I am also applying for some part-time retail jobs for evening/weekend hours (submitting application for ATHLETA tonight!). With the Holidays quickly approaching not only are places hiring a lot but the extra cash would be great. Plus, it would give me an opportunity to actually meet people and TALK to something other than my computer and telephone.
Hopefully I can avoid more breakdowns but the next year is going to be incredibly challenging to find joy in a place I’m not happy. I just have to remember it will be worth it and this time next year I’ll be starting an entire new adventure.
Have you always had a ‘calling’ for a certain job?
How did you find your niche?