Live YOUR Life & Live it Now.

Before I get to the meat & potatoes of this post can I just tell y’all how much I do NOT miss school? I know I’ve written posts before about how I want to get back to school and find a career but while Tyler and others stress about finals I’m sitting here with a glass (or 3) of Rose, my Christmas tree & The Sound of Music Live. Now that’s a good night. {coupled with the most sore muscles ever}

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Today I read a post by Bess that really resonated with me… everyone should read her post about Building that Ridiculously Amazing Life. So much of the article hits home for me right now–it’s no secret that I’ve been going through very difficult times. Upon finding out Tyler is going active duty this spring, an entire new {difficult} dimension has been brought into our relationship. 

I can’t and don’t want to get into too much detail but it has brought a lot of red flags into my mind. I have been living my life in Madison for over a year and a half now so I could be near him & help make things easier for us to work out. And now what? There’s a strong possibility that he doesn’t want me to move with him right away. Not to mention there’s still a chance he could go somewhere I can’t even go to because my status in National Guard. So I’m supposed to just keep waiting..and waiting..and waiting. Not just to move with him but to start MY own life. He doesn’t want me relying on him for happiness and I don’t want that either. 

I want a career I am passionate about-where I enjoy going to work everyday. And I was so afraid to start that because I wanted to be able to move with him easily. I didn’t want to find another new job, work for a year, then quit another job. I need to keep something for my resume. But in the light of what’s come up I have decided that I’m done waiting.

Today is my day. Today is your day. Today is THE day. So grab it, embrace it & run with it. 

Yes I’m terrified of my choice to look for jobs elsewhere, {anywhere really} because it may mean that even if he does want me to move with him, I’m staying wherever my new job is. But I can’t keep going on maybes and ifs. Part of me feels like I’m giving up on my relationship with him before our next chapter even begins. But after a lot of conversation with family, friends & women who were military wives (& have since gotten divorced) I’ve realized that if it’s meant to be it will be. So I’m done waiting for that day–you name it: the day I move with him, the day I find a new job, the day I do anything that puts me out of my comfort zone. That day is right now–no more tomorrows. 

Yesterday I applied for a job in Washington DC and have 3 more application packets going out to all different places in WI hopefully by next week. All in LAW ENFORCEMENT. I have the background for it so why not? 

I’m also talking with my aunt who lives in Lexington, KY to see if there’s any opportunities out there for me. I’m ready for change.. I’ve stopped fearing it. 

We will see how things unfold… on all fronts. 

If there’s something you’re afraid of please do not keep saying ‘tomorrow, next week/month/year’… do it now. You deserve it. 

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7 thoughts on “Live YOUR Life & Live it Now.

  1. Brittany

    YES!! If I’ve learned one thing about relationships, I’ve learned if you’re not true to yourself you will be miserable!! Sure, sacrifices are necessary..but you must complete what YOU want in life because YOU’RE the one living it!!! YOU GO GIRRRRL!

    Reply
  2. jessielovestorun

    My heart breaks for you that he’s unsure what he truly wants @ the moment, but girl you are doing what’s best. I can imagine this decision wasn’t easy, but you’re pushing through the struggle. Always follow your dreams & you’ll find happiness ❤

    Reply
  3. Claire

    Sending positive thoughts your way girlie! It can be so scary, but you owe it to yourself to do something for YOU. After all, you are really the only one who can make you happy. Fingers crossed for you! ❤

    Reply
  4. pickyrunner

    I’m sorry you’re going through all of this but I am a firm believer that everything will work out the way it’s meant to. Whether that means you’re in DC, with Tyler wherever he ends up, or happy on your own elsewhere, it’s what you’re meant to do. Do what makes YOU happy and everything else will fall into place. Hang in there!

    Reply
  5. Laura @losingrace

    I know this isn’t easy for you at all, but trust that you are making the right decision for you! Good things are coming, those who are willing to make changes and take chances are strong. This is YOUR life, and you don’t need to wait for anything or anyone who isn’t worth the time.

    Best of luck with all the applications, I know that can be stressful but I am sure you will find something perfect for you!

    Reply

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