It’s been two short weeks with countless remaining, but dare I say I’m adjusting fairly well to this deployment and the long long distance relationship J and I are in. That’s not to say that it’s been easy… quite the opposite. The first week was filled with no appetite, no sleep, and LOTS of phone calls to family/friends full of tears.
In fact the biggest thing I’ve learned is that no matter what there’s going to be good and bad days. And virtually every day will include a (hopefully) brief moment of sadness. As much as I love this weather we have up here in WI I have found myself longing for nights grilling out, laughing and going on long walks outside. Instead I’m having a turkey burger on a paper plate (moving so soon!) and packing up more boxes. It’s hard not to think of what could be instead of living with the situation I’ve been dealt.
That being said I have found some great coping mechanisms and strategies so far!
Set aside something to look forward to every 1-2 weeks.
Breaking things up into much smaller time segments is much easier than thinking of the big picture. I’ve made sure to put time towards something fun every week for the next 6 weeks. If I don’t I’ll lose my sanity thinking about how long remains. Some things I have coming up: moving and getting a roommate, parents visiting and helping me move, a weekend visiting my bestest friend/sister in Kansas, and a photoshoot for fun!
Lean on my support system… but also stand up on my own two feet.
One of the things that J said that he really wanted me to do was spend as much time with friends and family while he’s away. In fact, he was the one who encouraged me to move and get a roommate. He also recommended that I also make time for myself… time to deal with the emotions I’m feeling, be it good or bad. And I’ve made sure to do just that. I think I’ve struck a perfect balance.
Make things fun.
Yes, it is
impossible incredibly difficult to make a relationship through a deployment fun… BUT there are a lot of fun care package ideas. Just yesterday I sent out the first one and I had a lot of fun putting it together. Already have the next one all lined up–just have to be patient because mail takes for.ever. to get overseas. It’s difficult when I’d rather be spending time together but I’ve come to terms that that’s just not a possibility right now; so it’s time to suck it up and make the best of our situation.
Cherish every second of each conversation.
I have become that girl who has her phone attached to her 24/7; and I wouldn’t have it any other way. IF I had a friend tell me it’s annoying then I wouldn’t want to be around them anyways. Cause anyone who supports me and understands will encourage me to have my phone in case he calls. The time difference and our schedules are complete opposite. But I have had a couple phone calls and they’ve been amazing. Every second counts. Luckily e-mails are exchanged every 1-2 days and they’re re-read countless times… makes it easy to hold onto until that next conversation.
I could be miserable everyday if I really wanted to. But instead of being bitter about all the time we are losing I choose to look forward to all the fun things that we can do together when he’s back. It has really brought an entire new perspective to me–I took for granted the time I could spend with people I dated in the past. I will never ever take time for granted again. You have to make the best of every moment you have with someone.
The days will not get easier; it’ll never get easy to miss him….but they will get more tolerable. And each day is a step in that direction. Hoping that the upcoming move and my 2 week Army training will really make the next 6 weeks fly by. And the small small chance that he comes home early is also a nice little ‘pick me up’ when I need one 🙂