Timing, Blessings & Changing

Last time we talked I had just flown down to Mississippi for a job interview on a CST–my dream job. I think at this point it’s no secret that I got the job! I’m still up in Wisconsin but should be down in Mississippi mid-August.

It’s no secret that I was itching for change…. and not just small change. I wanted to get out of the state, start with a completely blank slate. I was looking for the biggest change I could get.  And now I finally have that opportunity. Am I still over the moon and feeling incredibly blessed that I got earned the job? Heck yes. But I’d be lying if I said that I still 100% wanted to get all that change I asked for. It’s very bittersweet and next to impossible to explain just how I feel about it all.

You see, you don’t really realize the amazing place you live and the amazing people you’ve surrounded yourself with until you’re about to leave. Madison, WI has become my new home. I will always call this city home. (Caveat: I thought about living in Madison, MS but it’s not the city for me after some researching.) There’s so much to do and so many awesome people.

Back in March I started a new position and have the best co-workers. Today was one of those days at work that made me realize that I’m so blessed to have worked with them. Without them, I wouldn’t have gotten this position. The support they pour into me is overwhelming. It’s like a second family. While I’m sure the team I’m going onto is going to be great, no one will replace the staff I work with right now. Not only would these guys take the shirt off the back to help me with anything, but they always make me laugh & have taught me outstanding life lessons.

Timing has never been my forte. As if leaving amazing co-workers, friends & family behind isn’t going to be tough enough, I managed to get involved with someone I’ve known for years as well. We both knew there would be a chance I would be moving as I was applying for CST’s nation-wide; especially him… he believed in me that I’d get a job more than I believed in myself. That didn’t make telling him that I got the job any easier. Thank goodness he is genuinely supportive of me and my endeavors (something I can’t say I’ve had before) even though he knew it’d result in me moving somewhere far away. I’m not sure what will come of that entire situation, but regardless, I’m happy for it. He’s taught me a lot and brought a lot of happiness into my life. I have zero regrets.

The next few weeks are going to be insane. I have my ‘Going Away Happy Hour’ next week which is going to be fun, but hard. The last week of July I am taking a mini-vacation/road trip that I cannot wait for. Then I begin packing the Army comes and packs me up and I make the 900mi drive down South.

This post is all over the place. But moral of the story is: there never is the best timing for things. You can wish and wish and wish for something, and then once you get it, the timing isn’t exactly what it was when you began wishing for it. We all take what we have for granted, but I’m here to remind you not to.

I thought I had no friends in Madison after graduation; now I’m having the hardest time leaving them. I thought I hated the winter; now I’m only going to be able to ski when I come home. I thought I’d never find a guy supportive and encouraging; now I have to say bye to him. It’s funny how things change and happen when we least expect it.

All changes, even the most longest for, have their melancholy; for that we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. —Anatole France